Difficult emotions happen to all of us. The best way to deal with difficult emotions is not to muscle through them until you collapse in a puddle of overwhelm, but rather to accept them, acknowledge what message they bring and sit with it for a bit to see if it is actually calling you to some action. If you are already in a funk this is easier said than done. Just as unprocessed emotions can affect our physical bodies, how we feel physically can help us deal with difficult emotional states. Here are a few simple things to do to help you process those emotions.
1. Have a good cry.
Our culture often sees tears as vulnerability or even weakness. Even if your parents were great at letting you feel all your emotions, you might have picked up this subconscious message somewhere along the line. If you want to cry, cry. Crying with someone who cares about you is great, but crying alone can still provide the release you need to feel better and deal with whatever you are facing (or trying to avoid).
2. Go outside.
The outdoors makes us feel better. When we go outside we cope better with stress, anxiety and depression and even our cognitive function improves. Add some sunlight to that mix and the benefits are even more. You do not have to be able to go for a full on hike. Stand on your balcony, walk around the block or just look at the stars.
3. Move your body.
Exercise has many health benefits. One of them is improving our mood. And when you feel better, you have a better perspective. You don't have to be “training hard” to reap the rewards of movement. A short walk is better than remaining sitting. There seems to be some evidence that just getting up from your desk every 45 minutes or so decreases the negative effects of extended periods of sitting. Pair your movement with being outside and you get double the benefits.
4. Breathe
Breathing regulates our biology. Something as simple as breathing out slowly and for longer than you breathe in can help you feel calmer and decrease tension. Many of us breathe very shallow and through our mouths. Our noses are not only fantastic air filters and temperature regulators, it also activates parasympathetic nervous system activity (the “rest and digest” part). You do not have to do complicated breathing exercises to start breathing better. Start with having certain periods of the day where you consciously breathe with a closed mouth. Then add a few minutes a day of just observing your breath. If you want to explore more, there are many free videos for breath exercises on YouTube and Instagram. Find one you like and start slowly.
It is a lot easier to deal with difficult circumstances and emotions when we are in a better frame of mind. The things that can help you get there does not have to be difficult or overwhelming. Simple little steps can make all the difference. You don’t have to do all of these to feel better. Pick one and see where it takes you.