It seems that it doesn't matter what we are working through, at the root of the issue is often unprocessed emotions. In my work I find it astonishing that even the most debilitating physical symptoms often have unprocessed emotions at the core.
Getting to know our emotions so that we can stop suppressing them, is the most important thing we can do for our growth, health, relationships and general well-being. It is the thing I repeat over and over to every client in every session.
So what does this process really look like?
The first step is patience. There is no magic method that will make this change instant. It is a slow process of learning and loving yourself in it.
Start with situations that feel uncomfortable but not massively triggering or threatening. We all have “off” days when we just feel out of it, blue, not aligned. Start practicing this process on those days, with those vaguely uncomfortable feelings, rather than jumping into this process during your next argument or panic attack.
Here is a short run-down of how to get to know an emotion when you are experiencing it:
Pause and recognize that you are feeling something.
Notice where you are feeling it in your body.
Notice the physical sensations.
Name what you are feeling, if you can. Otherwise describe it as best as possible.
What is this emotion telling you? What do you need or is there an action you need to take? It can be as simple as needing to cry or be comforted; or more complex like re-evaluation of a situation or having a hard conversation.
How will you honor this emotion in taking the first step in meeting this need?
If you have difficulty with the last three steps, don't fret. Recognizing that you are feeling a challenging emotion and noticing how your body is responding is more than most of us do. It is a great first step and if it is all you can do in the beginning you are already starting to process emotions better, rather than suppress them.
The trick is to commit to doing this process. Don't judge how well you do it, what the outcome is or if it is “working”. It will eventually become easier and smoother and you will start to see changes that you didn't expect. As with everything in life the key to success is the willingness to fail a whole bunch of times.
Try this process out and let me know how it goes for you. You can also follow me on Instagram or Facebook where I post helpful videos about processing emotions and more.